Farewell then, David Davis

Dear David,

Thankyou for all the hard work you have given to this party all these years. We all admire your principled stance on 42 days. A courageous move, as Sir Humphrey would have said.

It was perhaps a bit much for you to suggest that we should promise to repeal the measure once we are elected. You see that would be quite different. If we are in government, then more power for the state is all grist to the mill. It is only under Labour that these powers are dangerous.

You really shouldn't take all that "Liberal Conservative" stuff to heart. The words are opposites, you know; have you not read Hayek?

We wish you all the best in your by-election campaign, and hope to have you back in our parliamentary party soon. Or that MacKenzie fellow.

Best wishes,

Dave

Dear Tony

Dear Tony,

I have served as your heir for some time now. My loyalty to you, and to the values we share has been unswerving. The struggle to fashion a political party, or two, of the socially conservative, neo-con authoritarian centre-right has been your preoccupation and mine for as long as I can remember.

We have revolutionised the lives and expectations of millions of management consultants and marketing types. Your leadership, and mine, has been visionary and remarkable.

So it is with the greatest sadness that I can no longer remain your heir, as it appears that you are turning into a bit of a loser.

I share the view of the overwhelming majority of my party that I would do better to rebrand myself as the successor to your successor. Not the heir to Blair, but, perhaps, the crown to Brown.

For the sake of my electoral prospects, I urge you to reconsider your determination to leave office. I do not believe that statements so far give us the lack of clarity necessary to bury the Labour Party over the next year.

It is with the greatest regret, therefore, that I must end our alliance.

Yours, no longer,

Dave

see also, hat tip