The Forsyth Protocol

I know Fred is unhappy that we have not yet got around to allying our MEPs with the rabidly homophobic Law and Justice party of Poland. We tried sending Theresa May over to talk to them, but they told her that she belonged in the kitchen.

But Freddie must understand that when you are not the front runner in an electoral contest you have to go the extra mile to say things that will appeal to the electorate. There isn't, after all, much danger of winning, and if you do win, you can always renege. My advice to Fred is this: see what promises I make to the electorate before you start demanding that I keep the promise I made to the Conservatives. You wouldn't want to set a precedent!