The people of Britain are rightly furious at the way we have been milking our expenses. So I am laying down the law to my party in an act of leadership. Conservative MPs will no longer be allowed to claim for:
-servants (unless absolutely necessary)
There. That should settle it. Anything but touch the subsidised mortgages which are the real money spinner. After all, it is hardly worth being an MP if you can't make a mint in the property market.