Cleaning up

Well it is has been a tough few weeks, I can tell you, raising the cash to pay back all the dodgy loans from johnny foriegners before we come clean and put all the sleaze behind us.

Because, make no mistake about it, the Conservative Party is changing and will no longer, as of today, deal in suitcases full of used fivers without going through the proper and above-board money laundering channels.

Our creditors in full:

• Lord Laundering of Belize (£9.6m)
• Lord Beroughen Onne-Vealeuppe of Bahrain (£12.6m)
• Lord Archer of Ford (-£1.2m)
• Lord Voldemort of Harry Potter fame (1m gold galleons)
• Dame Upenamme (£33.5m)

And we will start paying it back as soon as this money arrives. But it is good to have all that cleaned up. Never let it be said we aren't a party of fiscal prudence. I lord it!

Tags: Party Funding, Dodgy Loans, Conservatives