Beyond satire

Many in our party are uncomfortable with our bold steps into the centre ground. I am undaunted.

In order to appeal to the moderate majority in England, we simply have to talk about the things they are interested in. And one of the biggest topics these days is satirising the Conservative Party.

Well I can do it better than they can. And, if I say so myself, having the chauffer drive my bag and shoes, while I cycle, is a masterstroke that no satirist could better. It portrays me as appearing green, while doing nothing of any practical value. It is what everybody is talking about these days. And when the people see that we are talking the same language too, they will vote for us in droves. I love it!