This is not of course our first u-turn on this issue. So now is the time to revisit those green taxes I proposed, and bring them up to date.
This is what I said last time:
- Tramps and beggars are an eyesore. Our new Tramp Duty of 2.5% will discourage them.
- Plebs with their rustly little cars spoil traditional English villages. The Hatchback Tax will put a stop to that.
- Windmills ruin the view. Our Fossil Fuel Obligation will reduce them.
- Hosepipe bans are a menace to lawns everywhere. We will start a hosepipe incentive scheme.
- People who have their cars follow them when they cycle are, er [are you sure about this one, George?]
Now you may be asking how one u-turns on a policy that is so vacuous in the first place. Ye of little faith, there is much we can do.
- Cheaper petrol
- More fossil-fuel power stations
- Greater dependence for energy on our Russian friends
- More airports
And it needn't stop there. When you are born smug like me, pissing away other people's future comes naturally. I love it.
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