Wossy

I'm sure you all saw my huge success on the Jonothan Ross programme at the BBC. I came across as exactly the sort of hip young thing that appeals to hip young voters these days. My master stroke was giggling along as Mr Ross and his other guest the actor Mr Bruce Rillis were saying "fuck".

But not all the success is of my doing, for once. Mr Ross observed that neither he nor I knew what my policies were - creating an intimate fraternal bond between us, and thereby between me and Mr Ross's viewers and listeners.

As to the question of whether I had sexual fantasies about Mrs Thatcher... all I can say is that I had a normal student experience.